Wednesday, December 17, 2008

One More Day Until Take Off

Boot camp is finally over. The final loss was 22 pounds (less than half of what I was hoping for, but at least it's over). The name of the place (just so no one is ever foolish enough to go waste their money there) is Camp Technique, and the idiot owner goes by the name of Eric Viskovicz. I am told that he's also planning to market the food nationwide. Unless you think pet food is tasty, don't bother. You've been warned.

Oh, and my last boot camp story. One of the gross new campers whipped it out and asked one of the masseuses for a "happy ending" on Monday. I would consider that immediate grounds for kicking him out of the program, but considering the company is too cheap to give refunds, I guess sexually harassing the masseuses is A-OK.

Good news: I finished my fellowship application this morning (I was terrified that I'd leave before I got it done). Now all that's left is packing and some last minute shopping. My next update will be coming from Addis Ababa!

Sunday, December 14, 2008

One More Day of Boot Camp

No more whining about sore joints and crazy people. In less than a week, I will be all about my travels. Okay, maybe there will be a little complaining about the whole camping thing, but I'll mostly be in awe of all the amazing places I'll be going and things I'll be seeing.

Saturday morning beach boot camp was mostly okay, with the exception of the army crawling (on your stomach, pushing yourself with your elbows and knees, incredibly unfun). Saturday circuit was nice: mellow, kind of hard, but not too bad. Sunday circuit was a total joke: no one came except me, and the circuit the new trainer prepared was so lame that I just had to do my own. I'm glad I went, though, because now I feel virtuous and can judge my fellow campers. Just kidding. Maybe.

Friday, December 12, 2008

BC 37-40: In Which I Become Increasingly Annoyed with Boot Camp

Let me just say once again for the record that after this week's weigh-in, I am completely over boot camp and incredibly happy that I have only 3 days left here.

Fitness: biggest accomplishment of the week was finally doing the hike, and kicking the asses of the two younger girls (21 and 23) who I was hiking with. From what I hear, the incline is significantly steeper than the mountain trekking I'll be doing in Ethiopia, so I'm feeling like I'm all set. Unfortunately, I twisted my ankle and was stuck limping around and doing the recumbent bike most of the day after the hike.

More news: we changed from the Santa Monica pool to a pool in Culver City, which isn't heated. Unheated pools are no fun in December, even in LA. The other down side: much deeper pool with longer lanes (and far fewer), meaning crowding and fear of death by drowning. Fortunately, Thursday was my last day at the pool.

Interesting development on the trainer lay-offs: I had no idea why they fired a good trainer the same week they hired a new (not so good) one, but recently, all has become clear. Apparently, the genius-y owner of my boot camp is in the process of expanding his fitness empire and was looking for an attractive woman willing to appear in fitness videos. The female trainers on staff were not willing to appear in his videos, so he found someone who would, despite the fact that her skills as a trainer are not on par with the trainer he let go. Just another example of his willingness to put the clients last and his own interest first. (Speaking of which, he has forced the chef to cut his budget to the point that he's using ingredients that many people wouldn't feed their pets, solely in order to increase his profit margin. It seems he needs a new Maserati.)

My fellow campers: the greedy Obama-basher is gone, but only for three weeks. She is addicted to boot camp and can't exist for more than a few weeks without it.

The lazy girl with the potty mouth has been rubbing me (and everyone else) the wrong way: today found her whining about having gained two pounds this week, despite the fact that she's had alcohol, McDonald's, Wendy's, M&M's and Twizzlers, and has skipped half of her scheduled workouts (or shown up and just sat around). The best part: one of the trainers called her mother (who is paying) to rat her out, both for gaining weight and for cheating.

The slow, racist camper who dropped out a couple of weeks ago? Never had a grant. She duped the idiot owner into thinking that if he let her come and filmed her, they could both get grants from the NIH. Naturally, neither one of them got a grant, but I'm thinking that racist camper may have been a little less of a moron than I thought, since she managed to con him into giving her three free weeks of boot camp (a $12,000 value).

The crazy bird sound lady has been up to some pretty wacky tricks, too. When she's not busy dancing, she's reacting to upsetting odors. One new camper made the mistake of wearing aftershave, which caused her to swoon. Now, aftershave is verboten. Another troubling scent: cleaning supplies. These give her such a headache that the only way to remedy it is to make the trainers and masseuses come to her apartment for private sessions (even though the cleaning supplies have been used in said apartment). The woman is a crazy hypochondriac, but she's smart enough to get worked out without having the leave the comfort of her own bed.

That's about it. Tomorrow is my last beach boot camp (yay!), my last visit to the crappy diner, and my last Saturday circuit. A week from now, I'll be writing about the journey to Addis Ababa!

Monday, December 8, 2008

BC 34-36: Drama and Another Depressing Weigh-In

So, after yet another week of pushing myself beyond my limits, it was time to weigh in. The results: I only lost 2 1/2 pounds. I keep on asking myself what I'm doing wrong, and I don't have any answers.

On to the drama: on Friday, the owner of the boot camp let go two trainers. One of them had already given notice and had his departure date moved up. The other was a complete shock to the campers and the trainer herself. It was all VERY unprofessional: one moment the trainer was walking toward me for our 3 pm session, and the next she was being whisked away to the office, only to leave in tears a few minutes later. Just the latest in a series of bad decisions that the owner of the boot camp has made, but one that has disrupted the lives of many campers. Even worse, a very good trainer has been canned only a week after a new trainer was hired.

More drama: the mean, scary, Obama-hating lady continues to harass the 20 year old. I think most people agree that she's being incredibly immature, but more than that, we're just all tired of her talking about her money and the square footage of her house and how much she spends on shopping. Nouveau riche never looked so tacky (or orange, after her crazy spray-on tan).

On to the workouts: Saturday morning's beach boot camp was tough but not terrible. More beach running than I normally do. Afternoon cardio circuit was canceled because of the lay off, so I spent the time walking around a park while the younger, more limber campers played football. Disappointing workout, but I had a very nice talk with one of my fellow campers (previously accused of being lazy). While I still think she's not the most motivated camper ever, she's working at it. Plus, we have a shared dislike of the mean lady.

Sunday's circuit was pretty standard, although the added number of reps made it a better workout than some previous Sundays...

Which brings us to today. My knees still aren't bending and my ankles are beyond stiff, so the day was pretty trying. I spent most of it in the gym: an hour of training, 3 hours of cardio (all on the treadmill at a crazy high incline), 30 minutes of joint alignment (didn't help much), and evening beach boot camp. If there's one thing worse than dealing with joint pain on level ground, it's dealing with joint pain on the sand. So it was hell. But I did do a little (very little) sand running.

Finally, one of my favorite young campers left today. My buddies are disappearing left and right, providing yet another reason for me to be thrilled that I only have a week left.

Friday, December 5, 2008

BC Days 32 and 33: Could I Be Any More Tired?

With just a little more than a week to go, I'm a total wreck: enough joint pain (ankles, knees, hips) to make me feel like a woman twice my age, and I'm getting so much sleep that I'm not getting anything else done (except rereading Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince).

Focusing on the positive, in the past 2 days I've had three good training sessions, one which was devoted mainly to posture and alignment and said joint pain, two upper body sessions with some very good stretching. I also managed to survive not one but two really hard evening boot camps this week (including the aforementioned butt routine) and did a fair bit of running at a pretty decent speed. Plus, I broke my own record at the pool and finally picked up a little speed. And today, in addition to doing 11 sets of stairs (110 flights), I climbed about 700 feet in an hour on the treadmill. Yay me.

The motivational speaker/owner was back today. I contemplated skipping, but decided that his pep talks are comedy gold and that I should take notes, of which I'll provide a sample:

stupid Q & A;
tries to engage people who are not interested;
doesn't realize that salmon goes with avocado;
conflates thinness and happiness.

Another camper and I talked about him the other day, and agreed that the problem is that he's not that bright. Not that I buy into the motivational speaking thing AT ALL, but to do it right, you have to be as smart or (preferably) smarter than your audience, and (as my fellow camper said) "dumb it down" for your audience. Let's just say that our guy wasn't busy rocking the SAT in high school, and that it's been intellectually downhill for him ever since. (And yes, I'm being especially critical because of the absolutely idiotic things he said about therapy the last time he graced us with his presence.)

Much more interesting is all of the camp gossip. The greedy woman I've mentioned before (the one on perpetual vacation who is afraid that Obama may rob her of her leisure and her 38,000 square foot house) has been feuding with some of the younger campers, going so far as making threats of physical harm that got so bad today that I believe there was a call made to the police. Crazy.

The slow, older, kinda racist camper is history. Thankfully, we have some new lazy girls (I mean REALLY lazy), so I don't have to worry about being the slowest camper around. As it turns out, the slow camper was here on some sort of bogus NIH grant. I still want more details, because it all sounds fishy, and I would hate to think that my tax dollars (and yours) were going to send that woman to boot camp to annoy me.

In travel-related news, all of my stuff has now arrived, and all that's left is to make sure that everything fits me (and into my new backpack), buy some hiking boots, and wait for my passport to be returned. I am so ready to go.

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

BC 31: The Dunk Tank

For some reason, this was my worst dunk ever. As in I was suddenly afraid of drowning and kept coming up for air before I got a decent reading. Finally (after 5 attempts) I managed to stay down. The results: I've lost 9.1% of my body fat since I've been here, losing 29 pounds of fat and gaining 12 pounds of muscle. I am told that I will start losing muscle soon, which is a very good thing, since currently my lean body mass (bones, muscle, organs, etc.) is more than my goal weight, and I have it on good authority that we need some fat (not to mention bones and organs).

Today was pretty crazy: I spent the entire day in the gym and had THREE separate training sessions (an hour of abs/core, an hour of back and biceps and an hour of legs). Too much personal training!!! The rest of the time I spent on cardio machines, where I managed to climb the 1300 feet I'll be doing every day on my Ethiopian mountain trek.

In other news, one of my favorite campers (and my first friend at boot camp) left yesterday. Very sad. We started the same day, so it's a major shock not to have her around to suffer with (although I'm pretty sure she was having a bit more fun than I was).

Tomorrow will be the last day in the heated pool (I'm told we're going to the unheated outdoor pool next week - can I call in cold?) and the last evening boot camp until Monday. The half empty: the boot camp trainer is pretty tough generally and wraps up boot camp with a horrifically painful (but effective) butt routine (by which I mean, of course, a set of exercises, not some form of X-rated entertainment).

Monday, December 1, 2008

BC 29: Weighing In

I've lost 8 pounds in the last two weeks, for a total of 17 pounds in 4 weeks. Could be better, but it could also be worse. I'm planning on pushing myself (even harder) for the final two weeks in the hopes of losing at least 10 more pounds before I leave. Fingers crossed.

Sunday, November 30, 2008

Rounding Out Week 4 of Boot Camp

With apologies for the days of silence (boot camp is getting a little monotonous, though not any easier), here I go:

The last week has been pretty much like the preceding weeks, except that there hasn't been a boot camp in the park for a while (which means that I haven't had the opportunity to work on my non-sand running skills). I made it to 10 sets of stairs at the Manhattan Beach Dune Park (the equivalent of going up and down 100 flights of stairs). It would have been more, but there was a minor setback having nothing to do with my fitness level and everything to do with public restrooms being totally disgusting.

I continue to improve at some of the strength training work, my flexibility is improving, and I totally did not suck at beach boot camp yesterday. These are all good things, although I remain terrified that it will not be enough for me to make it on the mountain climbing in Ethiopia (7-8 hours of trekking each day for 3 days, covering 12 km and climbing 400 m each day).

Finally, there is a new winner for lamest camper ever. Worse than the slow (physically and mentally), kind of racist camper and the right wing fanatics (although they remain pretty bad) is the new crazy lady, who will be around for the next 4 months (making me even happier that I only have 2 weeks to go). What makes her worse than the others? The extreme and totally non-endearing crazy. I can look past the fact that she wears sunglasses in the gym, and that at 50 she's just too old for pigtails, but she doesn't stop there. She talks to herself. She spontaneously bursts into song and dance and applause. She makes bird noises whenever she sees birds. She actually asked yesterday if we had an official camp cheer. Also, she isn't very bright, and stupid and crazy is a bad combo. The one good thing is that my group of friends has one more person here to mock.

Speaking of some of the other awful campers, two of them reported the good massage therapist for (1) hugging a camper who'd complained of having a hard day and (2) taking a call from her 12 year old daughter (I'm assuming it at least could have been an emergency) during the work day. Have I mentioned before how much these people suck?

Finally, I'm almost done with shopping for my trip. I bought everything online (except for my hiking boots, which I figure I should get fitted for). Many thanks to Jodi Ettenberg (who was the initial inspiration for my round the world trip) for this great post on packing for such a trip.

Monday, November 24, 2008

BC 22: A Day in Hell

Today was very, very hard. One of the hardest days ever. Seriously. I started with a training session with one of the tougher trainers. It was a hard session, but it could have been worse: we spent some of the session trying to stretch out my left calf, which I seem to have injured Saturday. The main focus was biceps and back, with more reps and weight than I usually do (see above: tougher trainer). Plus, he thinks that cardio between sets, i.e., every 3-5 minutes, is a good idea. Exhausting. The middle portion of the day was fine: 90 minutes of cardio (an hour on the elliptical trainer, 30 minutes on the treadmill, burned around 800 calories).

Now for the bad part. First, the Santa Monica stairs. Just as terrible and dizzying to look down as I thought, and just as hard to walk up. The first walk up left me wheezing and terrified to go down again, so I ended up taking a long (stair-free) detour to get to the base each time. This meant that I could only go up the stairs three times (not nearly as good as my performance at the Manhattan Beach Dune Park). But, thanks to the nearly complete absence of landings to take breaks, each ascent seemed 10 times worse.

The day ended with beach boot camp run by a trainer who I'd heard had hard but not impossible boot camps. Well, apparently he's changed. Because he had us running and marching and doing butt-kicks and straight leg kicks and side shuffles and all sorts of super-fun activities in the sand (really no fun at all). Exempted from the sprinting that followed, I was stuck with squats (140), push-ups (120) and dips (70) combined with race walking. I am unbelievably tired. The only bright spot (other than the day being over): tomorrow morning's beach run excepted, the day looks 100% better.

Sunday, November 23, 2008

BC 21: Half Done

Today was the same workout as last Sunday: some cardio plus a strength training circuit covering all muscle groups. The only difference is that it started at 10, so I have the rest of the day to myself. I do note that with the exception of residual soreness and exhaustion, I'm not too run down today. Impressive, considering that three weeks ago I would have considered a 2 hour work out pretty taxing...

I'm leaving soon to see Twilight, and I refuse to be embarrassed about it (especially since yesterday I allowed my fellow campers to convince me to see Role Models with them; that I'm embarrassed about).

Saturday, November 22, 2008

Boot Camp Day 20: Almost at the Halfway Mark

Today was perhaps the first day that I could tell that I am actually improving. Things are still hard, but they aren't as hard as the first week. We started with a morning beach boot camp, consisting of a short run/walk, stretching, and a long run/walk. It was during this longer stretch that I realized that my breathing had become more even, and that while I was definitely pushing myself, I knew I wasn't going to collapse. The rest of beach boot camp was hard but tolerable: more jogging and walking, some stretching/balancing exercises (way to combine cardio with strength training), and some abs and core work. Much better workout than last Saturday.

After the weekly visit to the diner, it was back to the gym for 2 hours of group circuit training. Here's another example of how much I've improved: one of my few boot camp buddies was at the next elliptical trainer for our 25 minutes of cardio, and I was able to talk with her the entire time, while working hard enough to keep my heart rate in the 145/150 zone. Considering that 2 weeks ago I couldn't do more than 3 minutes on the elliptical trainer with or without talking, I consider this a huge improvement.

The strength-training segment (maybe 70 minutes or so) was primarily focused on shoulders, with some bicep, tricep and ab work thrown in for good measure. The class was run by the same trainer who did the amazing Saturday circuit a couple of weeks ago, so another really good workout, followed by more talking on the elliptical trainer.

Now I should be working on fellowship applications (this grad school application process seems to be interminable), but I think I'm going to read a little before bonding with my favorite boot campers at the movies. Speaking of my fellow boot campers, I've mentioned before that there are a couple that I think are cool and get along with well. Still true. There are also a few of the younger kids that are funny and nice and a little crazy, and they get high marks in my book, too. The rest, though... it's amazing to hear the things that have come out of their mouths. One of them talks about "Orientals" without a hint of irony, another prides herself on being "very, very, very far to the right" (although she hasn't said precisely what that means, I'm tempted to ask her if it means that she's anti-health care and decent educations for poor children, anti-affirmative action, anti-gay and anti-immigrant), and more than a few have expressed their fears about Obama (and Democrats generally) destroying their capitalist way of life. I'm grateful for the presence of a few Europeans and Canadians: they tend to dilute the effect of the crazies.

Finally, something for me to stress out about: I've been scheduled for the Santa Monica stairs (all 154 of them) Monday.

Friday, November 21, 2008

2 for 1: Boot Camp Days 18 and 19

So I didn't blog yesterday. I had a good reason: both the start and end of my workout day had some annoying aspects that I wanted to get a little distance from. I'm better now, so here goes.

Thursday started with cardio boot camp, basically a walk or run on the beach. The instructions: everyone walks/runs in one direction for 25 minutes, then turns around and goes back. This clever idea ensures that everyone arrives back at approximately the same time. Well, I was slow yesterday, and everyone decided to turn around 5 minutes early (which I didn't notice in time), so I ended up being dead last (not to mention being deprived of some cardio time). Result: crankiness. Walking on the beach: pretty nice (chilly but beautiful). The day got better: 30 minutes of abs, swimming (without a doubt my favorite boot camp activity), and my first hike. Some people call it the baby hike, which makes me kind of nervous about the grown-up hike, because this one had some fairly challenging inclines. The views from the top of the mountain/large hill were lovely (must remember to take my camera on hikes), but I did have some vertigo issues. The last scheduled activity of the day was evening boot camp in the park. After eating the 5 pm meal, of course. Except when we got back to the office, I discovered that someone had taken my (clearly marked) 5 pm meal, which was specially made for me (I've requested no beef) and therefore wasn't another case of someone being illiterate (I think I've mentioned my least favorite camper before). So, instead of going to boot camp, I got REALLY irritable because I had to go home to eat (eating every 4 hours is mandatory). By the time I was done, I'd missed more than 30 minutes of boot camp, and decided to skip it. I'm feeling a little suspicious of my fellow campers right now: who's trying to sabotage me?

I'm much calmer today, although today was pretty much hell. We started with the Manhattan Beach dune hike. As I mentioned last week, the vertigo makes the dune hike a problem, so I stick with the stairs. This time, I made it up and back 9 times, i.e. 90 flights of stairs. Considering I could get winded on 2 flights of stairs just a month ago, I'm pretty pleased with myself (but I still get winded). Next, we had an abbreviated circuit (all legs and butt for me, since my bottom half needs the most work). During circuit training, one of the trainers told me that it looked like I'd lost a lot of weight/gotten smaller, especially in the waist, which is the same thing that one of my fellow campers said yesterday. (Yay!) I can see it too, and I'm pretty amazed (and thrilled) that I'm visibly smaller in less than three weeks. The afternoon featured 60 minutes of cardio (I continue to rock the elliptical trainer, and am hoping that some time soon I will be able to run as fast on the running paths as I can on the machine) and an hour of partner training (chest and triceps), which was excruciating because I'd just had a massage and my muscles did NOT want to do any more work. Speaking of which, maybe the masseuse is reading my blog because today's massage was definitely more PG-13 than the earlier ones (still some inappropriate touching, but dialed down a notch).

Wednesday, November 19, 2008

BC 17 - Another Good Day

Still riding on yesterday's high, I had another very good day. I started the day with outdoor yoga. I'm still having trouble moving from downward dog to warrior one, but I'm at least getting more of the poses. Plus, no matter how much I suck (which is still, honestly, kind of a lot), it's nice to look up at the amazing, cloudless, super-blue sky. The rest of my day was tough but good: an hour of training, focused on shoulders with some leg work; an hour of independent cardio (in which I got good and sweaty); another hour of training, this time mostly with stretches and cardio circuit training; yet another hour of independent cardio (even sweatier); and an hour of indoor boot camp: triceps, shoulders (again - very sore), biceps and legs.

Tonight some of my camper friends are going to Carmen, and some may be disappointed to learn that I turned down a free ticket. In my defense, I keep falling asleep at 10 every night and had no desire to do it at the opera.

A little nervous/excited about tomorrow: my first hike!

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

BC 16 - Things Are Looking Up

Because of my awful weigh-in results yesterday, today I returned to the dunk tank. If you're unfamiliar (or I didn't describe it last time), it involves getting in a bathing suit, lying face down in a dunking pool, and blowing all the air out of your lungs in order to get an assessment of your body fat percentage. For purposes of accuracy, it's necessary to do it a few times. The results: I've lost 19.6 pounds of body fat and gained 10.6 pounds of lean body mass in the past 2 weeks. I've also decreased my body fat percentage by 6.6%. I'm pretty pleased with the numbers, but still think I'll stay off the scale, or only do it in conjunction with a body fat analysis. If I can lose another 10-15% body fat while I'm here, I'll be thrilled and totally fine with whatever number is showing up on the scale.

Here's my (pretty satisfying) fitness day: an hour of training (triceps and chest), 90 minutes of swimming, 60 minutes of independent cardio (primarily the elliptical trainer, but also the bike and the treadmill), and an hour of partner training on a circuit (lat pull-downs, crunches, squats, push-ups and some more tricep work), repeated for the entire hour, which ended up being a little painful. The day ended with another intense Tuesday night boot camp in the park: lots of running (I'm getting better), lots of circuit work. Tuesday night boot camps are taught by my favorite trainer (the one who pushes me hard but knows my limits), and apparently I can take quite a lot. After this evening's boot camp, I spent some quality time with some of my favorite boot campers (all of whom are now watching the Biggest Loser). So, nice balance, nice day.

Monday, November 17, 2008

BC 15 - Depressing Weigh In

As anyone who has been following my blog knows, I have been working my butt off (literally) at boot camp. So you can imagine my disappointment when I was informed that I'd only lost 2 pounds this week. After 30 hours of exercise and a week of pretty awful food--and such small portions! No refunds, though, so no fear of my quitting early. I'm considering not weighing in for the next 4 weeks, though, since there's nothing I can do but what I'm already doing, and another disappointing weigh-in will just make me less enthusiastic about the program.

In other news, the owner and founder of the boot camp made an unscheduled appearance to give yet another "motivational" speech. Again, he handed out the sheet of quotations from famous men like Ronald Reagan, and read them all aloud to us. He also had some new material: apparently he is anti-doctor (especially psychiatrists), and devoted a decent portion of his speech to telling us how exercise is so much better than going to the doctor when you're depressed, because all doctors do is give you pills that make you gain weight and stop feeling, and the only reason anyone is depressed is because of weight issues. So, basically, the guy is a complete idiot who knows nothing about the medical profession, therapy or psychopharmacology. He picked the wrong day to irritate me.

On to the fitness portion of the day. I started off with 90 minutes of spinning plus abs (and can I just say again that I do NOT like spinning). My spinning aversion was made worse by the upsetting egg white, chicken(!) and goat cheese omelet I had for breakfast. Next I had an hour of training just doing shoulders, which is a really painful way to spend an hour. My shoulders already look pretty good, though, since this was my 4th all-shoulder session in 2 weeks. Then, after the disappointing weigh-in, we had the above totally not motivational speech, followed by more cardio and an hour of lower body training (the quad and glute exercises were particularly painful, and, therefore, I assume pretty effective). Training was followed by my massage (more on massages in the next paragraph). My day wrapped up with a pretty intense indoor boot camp: we alternated push-ups and crunches with various punches, with and without weights. So, if I can remember, I now know how to do a jab, cross, hook and uppercut, and can even alternate the punches to a song with a beat. Sadly, I box like a girl.

Massages: There are two masseuses at boot camp. One is very sweet, walks on your back and takes requests as to how hard or soft you want her to go. The other one... rolls down your underwear so that she can massage your butt crack, rolls down the front of the sheet so she can massage your boobs down to and including the space between them, and rolls up the sheet so she can massage your butt cheeks. A couple of us have theorized that she may be the kind of masseuse that will give you a little something extra if you give her a little something extra. Anyway, I keep on getting scheduled with her and I really just want a nice walk on my back...

Sunday, November 16, 2008

BC 14 - I've survived 2 weeks!

Today was a good: a short (2 hour) indoor circuit, mostly strength training, only 25 minutes of cardio. I feel good, but would probably feel even better if I'd worked out an hour or two more. Not that I've been wasting my down time: I'm finally done with all of my grad school applications, and now all that's left is to send in my transcripts, start reminding the people writing my recommendations, and work on my fellowship applications. Okay, maybe I still have a lot to do before I leave for Ethiopia next month...

Best feeling of the day: my abs, quads and glutes were tight/sore when I woke up. Yes, I know, muscle soreness is not a sensation I should be embracing, but it's nice to know that they're there (and that I'm working the hell out of them).

Saturday, November 15, 2008

BC 13: The Lowest Common Denominator

Beach boot camp this morning was a lot less brutal than last week. So not brutal, in fact, that it hardly qualified as a boot camp. The reason: a few of us were grouped with the oldest, slowest camper and instructed to go at her pace for all of our cardio. Seriously, we had to hold a rope with her holding up the rear, and stopped every time she needed a break. The result: the only person breaking a sweat was said slow camper. There were many (well, three) unhappy campers as a result of this.

Afternoon boot camp was a good deal more intense, especially because we told the afternoon trainer what happened in the morning, and she worked us out twice as hard to make up for the cardio workout we'd missed: treadmill at a reasonable walking pace but insane incline for about 35 minutes (my heart rate was crazy high for almost the entire time) and another 35 minutes of cardio circuit training, plus abs, biceps, triceps and legs, rounding out the 2 hours with chest and shoulders circuit training.

Tonight I'm hanging out with some of my fellow campers: we're going to see The Changeling at a time that doesn't conflict with any of our scheduled meals. Because not only do we eat only what they tell us to, but we eat it only when they tell us to.

Friday, November 14, 2008

BC 12: In Which I Do Not Excel at Dune Hiking

I attribute my dismal performance at the massive and apparently famous Manhattan Beach sand dune to two things: (1) walking up a 100 foot, incredibly steep sand dune is very, very hard and (2) my vertigo kicked in, making me terrified to get to the top (for fear of looking down the aforementioned steep dune). Admitting defeat once I reached the top, I spent the next 80 minutes or so walking up and down the 10 or so flights of stairs next to the dune. Thanks to many turns and ample tree cover, I was spared any further vertigo-related trauma.

The rest of the day was difficult but manageable: 60 minutes of circuit training, divided pretty evenly into abs, upper body and legs. Post-lunch, I had a one-on-one training session with the trainer I think I like the best (she pushes me hard, but seems to understand my limits). All biceps and triceps, except for the dreaded step (I am going to start having nightmares about it). Finally, I got to relax with 60 minutes of cardio circuit training (elliptical trainer, treadmill, bike). And now, thanks to the trainers having lives, I'm done until tomorrow morning's super-painful beach boot camp.

Good things that happened today: two trainers independently told me I was doing really well/improving and my pants have started falling down (not while they were telling me, fortunately).

Thursday, November 13, 2008

Boot Camp Day 11: Excellent

I beat my time walking to the pier and back by 10 minutes this morning (thank you, Madonna). I survived abs class, and sailed through swimming (managed to get a little faster, too). This is the last long day until Monday, and all I have left is an hour of personal training (which may be tough) and 90 minutes of cardio movie (here's hoping I can stay on the elliptical trainer the whole time).

I'm dreading tomorrow, though. My first dune hike, and I hear it's hell. Who knows, maybe I'll luck out and get another knee injury tonight...

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Boot Camp Day 10: Something Rotten

In a burst of excitement, I posted that the powers that be got it wrong, and that I actually lost 8.5 pounds my first week. Apparently not. The bizarre-o box was weighing 4.5 pounds light last Monday and 2 pounds light this Monday. So, somewhere around 6-6.5 pounds lost this week. And while I am happier that I lost more, considering how hard I've been working, I think that a place that charges $4000 per week per person should have a working scale.

My day: exhausting, again. We started with yoga in a park, which was really nice, when it wasn't painful. Spinning was just painful (equal parts the pain of the seat and the difficulty of the class), but I feel like a wimp asking to remove spinning from my schedule, so I'll just suck it up and buy a gel seat. One-on-one training was brutal: both of the the trainers I work with insist on making me do exercises on the step between sets, and -- since I apparently have almost no lung capacity -- I always end up totally winded. On the plus side, I am getting very fast on the step and the trainers have noted that I've really improved since last week. Free cardio time was fine, although the weigh-in debacle took a bite out of my 60 minutes. Evening boot camp was run by a sadist who kept us on the treadmill for a full hour with a 15% incline while doing bicep and tricep work with 4 pound dumbbells, with mini-breaks for push-ups, crunches and squats. Everything hurts while I'm doing it, but I have to admit that afterward (when I'm not thinking about the muscle soreness) I feel pretty good.

OMG

Some good news: the weighing box was off last week and just got recalibrated. So I actually lost 8 pounds this week, not 4. On the flip side, I was 4 pounds heavier than I thought. I'm going to go with glass half full: maybe I can keep up this pace for the duration of the program. More later.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Boot Camp Day 9: The Weird Motivational Speaker

Today was pretty great: 4 mile walk to the pier and back (not just 3 miles, as I noted last week, so I feel like less of a loser for taking 75 minutes to walk it); 30 minutes of ab work; 90 minutes of swimming (fast becoming my favorite activity here); a one-on-one training session (only 30 minutes, for reasons I'll explain in a minute); and a killer 90 minute evening boot camp where I ran more than I walked and did some of the most painful ab and butt work imaginable (that's not all we did, just what hurt the most). I feel like I easily lost at least a pound today. And I feel great.

So, today we had a "group nutrition class" with the founder of the boot camp. It was my first time meeting him, and I assumed it was going to be . . . a nutrition class. Instead, he handed out a set of questions. Question 1: What is motivation? Question 2: What does motivation mean? (Correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't these the same question?) Question 3: what is your positive motivation? ... Question 10: Who do you most admire? (I wrote Gandhi; I think I was supposed to put an athlete or something. But hey, Gandhi was thin, not that that's why I listed him.) Then, he handed out a series of "motivational quotes," all by men (Ronald Reagan, a race car driver, some guys I'd never heard of). Finally, he spent over an hour talking about visualization, internal versus external motivation and how important it is to talk to yourself out loud (this apparently has something to do with motivation, and doing it in your head is no good). I'm hoping he doesn't show again soon, because the group nutrition classes with the nutritionist are actually about -- wait for it -- nutrition. And if I wanted to hear a motivational speaker, I'd download something on iTunes. He also went half an hour over, taking a huge chunk out of my training session (biceps and back, very good).

One more thing: I love how much time I'm spending outside. I'm getting an incredible tan (which goes really well with the new short hair) and thanks to the swimming, I've finally gotten rid of the farmer's tan I got in Costa Rica 2 1/2 years ago from the one day I went out in a t-shirt with no sunscreen. I wouldn't want to live in LA again, but the weather is really amazing.

Monday, November 10, 2008

Boot Camp Day 8: Weigh In

Attention Upper East-Siders (sorry, I'm a little excited for Gossip Girl this evening):

After a grueling first week, I am sorry to report that I only lost 4 pounds. The trainers are attributing it to increased muscle mass (because, seriously, who would pay $4,000 to lose 4 pounds?), but I'm not so sure. In slightly better news, I've lost about an inch from my waist, an inch from my thighs and 2(!) inches from my biceps. The hips: not so much, if the weird scanner box is to be believed. I'm not thrilled, but I'm committed to pushing myself this week and getting better results.

And now, for better news: I am finally relearning to ride a bike. Although starting remains tough, I managed to bike around the (kind of big) parking lot behind the gym a few times. My endurance is also improving: I suffered through 2 sessions with different trainers, both of whom tortured me with various exercises involving the step (some of which sorely challenged my balance abilities). I also managed to stay on the elliptical trainer for 50 minutes before breaking down and doing some time on the rope pulling machine (which is probably tougher, but at least I got to sit). Progress.

As for my fellow campers, I may have mentioned that many of them have lots of money, of which they're very fond. Thus, I was treated today over lunch to a gripe session about how thanks to Obama's proposed increases in the capital gains tax, they will no longer be able to afford as many vacations or meals out or fancy cars. Cry me a river. And also, considering some of this was coming from a woman whose entire family has been at boot camp since July (think: $4,000 per person per week), I hardly think a few percentage points in the capital gains tax is going to force them to start eating ramen and taking the bus.

Also lame (although not to the same degree): the oldest camper, who appears to be a little racist, is also a little stupid and/or illiterate. Today, she ate my 4 pm meal (our meals during the day are in a communal fridge, but have our names clearly typed on the lids). So, I was forced to have her meal, which was rancid. Annoying.

Don't worry: some of the campers are cooler than others, and the two closest to my age are smart, nice and normal.

Sunday, November 9, 2008

Boot Camp Day 7 (the day of rest)

For boot camp, today was cake: 30 minutes of cardio, 75 minutes of strength training and stretching. Anywhere but boot camp I'd call it a pretty normal workout. One weird thing: today's trainer was playing country music. Now, I know some people like country (I like a little Patsy Cline, but that's my limit), but I don't know anyone (especially in LA) who thinks that country is workout music. Weird.

I'm grateful for the break, though. Tomorrow I have 4 hours of one-on-one training in addition to group boot camp, and I'm going to be exhausted. The time off also allowed me to get some work done on those grad school applications. Now if only Berkeley's website wasn't freaking out today, I'd be done with 5 out of 7.

Scariest thing about tomorrow: they're putting me back in the box to scan and weigh me...

Saturday, November 8, 2008

My Knee is Better (aka Boot Camp Day 6)

A good thing, too, because we started the day with a 2 hour beach boot camp. Running on dry sand is still a bit much for me, since I find walking on shifting sand pretty exhausting. But that was the easy part. Over an hour was spent on all types of sand torture: push-ups, crunches, modified lunges, marching, crazy balance in the sand stuff, ab torture... It was great.

I have clarification on why we only learn how to order at a diner (Ronnie's): the owner of the boot camp has a deal with them, which includes them adding an entire healthy food section that he planned and him sending his clients there every week. There are so many rules for ordering: other than the healthy selections section, campers are restricted to about 6 items, all of which must be halved. The only authorized side is a cucumber salad. Thanks to these rules, at a table of 6, you'll find 2 people eating 1/2 a turkey, sprout and avocado sandwich on wheat with no mayo, 2 people eating 1/2 a turkey burger, sprout and onion sandwich on wheat with no mayo, and 2 people eating scrambled egg whites with chicken and whole wheat toast. All with cucumber salad. Good times.

Saturday afternoons, campers that have been around more than 2 weeks do TBA. Whatever that means. It ranges from football to basketball to whatever the trainers feel like, modified so that there's more running. For newcomers and those with sports injuries, it's 2 hours of circuit training, which this week turned into 30 minutes of cardio (I managed to stay on the elliptical trainer the whole time, which I haven't done in 4 years), followed by 90 minutes of strength training. Painful, but I worked muscles in my shoulders that I never knew existed. It may have been the best non-cardio workout I've had since I got here.

No boot camp until noon Sunday, so I'll have some time to work on my grad school applications (finally). NYU keeps writing to me telling me to apply to their Ed School. It wasn't on my list, but if they want me that badly, I may have to reconsider...

Boot Camp: Day 5

The knee is getting better: no broken bones, no torn muscles. I should be ready to do some (very light) running again by Sunday. In an abundance of caution, I stayed off the knee today, meaning that all 4 (yes, reduced schedule) hours were spent doing upper body work. Upper body cardio: not fun.

And now, a word about the food. Every evening at around 5 or 6, 4 entrees magically appears in my refrigerator in plastic containers with my name and a description of what's inside. Examples: breakfast burritos, turkey meatballs with pasta and broccoli, chicken enchiladas verde and turkey burgers (freshly made). The food isn't terrible (and some of it is rather good), but it's all relatively bland (minimal salt and seasoning). On Saturdays, the boot campers are all taken to a diner, where we are supposed to practice making healthy decisions about dining out. Which I suppose would be really useful if we were all big diner fans. But, considering the program is nearly $4000 a week, I think it's safe to say that people's tastes here may be a little richer.

More after tomorrow's boot camps (and diner excursion), the former of which I've prepared for by purchasing sand socks.

Friday, November 7, 2008

Boot Camp Day 4: My First Sports Injury

All of the bike fear was justified: I've forgotten how to ride a bike and am so completely without balance that I can't manage to stay up for more than 3 seconds. So, scenic bike rides in Venice Beach are out for the next couple of weeks, until I can relearn how to ride a bike.

My other major discovery is that I suck at yoga.

Today started out pretty well: a 3 mile morning walk to the pier and back, an abs class, swimming in Santa Monica, upper body training, and a massage. Even the evening outdoor boot camp session -- which I thought I was too exhausted to attend -- was okay at first: some running/walking, good stretching (yoga-like, so maybe I don't completely suck at yoga). Unfortunately, during some agility training involving an obstacle course, I tripped and had a hard landing on my left knee (apparently I'm not that agile). At the moment, it doesn't bend, I can barely walk on it, and standing up is extremely painful. To be determined whether I can make it to tomorrow morning's dune hike...

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Boot Camp: Day 3

I am freaking out. Not just because Prop 8 looks like it's passing (so awful) but because I have a bike ride scheduled this afternoon. I haven't been on a bike since I was 10, and I have never driven in traffic. So there's a decent chance that this may be more about getting hit by a car and/or breaking a limb and less about actual exercise...

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

So intense

Happy Election Day!

Three-way tie for the most grueling work of the day: my first run in 22 years, my first spinning class, or the hour I spent speed walking at Venice Beach (in the sand). I'm exhausted.

Monday, November 3, 2008

Not too bad, yet

Yes, I'm tired. But I expected to be exhausted. I spent the early part of the day being humiliated: (1) before photos taken with and without my shirt, which will one day be posted on the company's website (along with the after shots), (2) a weigh-in and measuring session that involved me stripping down to my underwear and being scanned (much like an object with an SKU code) in a high-tech box, (3) submersion in a tub of water 4 times to determine my BMI and percentage lean body mass (because the rest is fat) and (4) walking on a treadmill with something resembling a gas mask to determine how much oxygen I have in my lungs (not much). It gets better: I'll be climbing into the scanner box once a week and the fat assessment pool every other week. Yay!

Compared to all of my assessments, the physical activity segment was fine. First, an hour of getting acquainted with all of the equipment, some of which terrifies me. Then, an hour of free-style cardio. (Note to self: on the free-style cardio days, I'll need to find someone to compete against. Otherwise, I'll consistently under-perform.) Finally, we had 90 minutes of outdoor boot camp. On the beach. In the dark. Lots of speed-walking with stops for lunges and squats, and some sand-walking stuff (sideways, backwards, marching, butt-kicks). It could have been much worse. And tomorrow will be: 3 hours of outdoor boot camp with different trainers, 30 minutes of one-on-one abs training, an hour of spinning, and another hour of one-on-one training.

Oh, and no before pictures. Really a terrible idea. Trust me when I say that I need to get in shape and that I will be making serious progress over the next six weeks. And for anyone who's interested, I will post a link to Camp Technique's before and after pics of me, once they're on-line.

Boot Camp: Day 1

So, in about an hour or so, I'll be starting boot camp. I'm unequal parts thrilled and terrified (currently more the latter than the former). Unflattering "before" pictures plus a recap of today's horrors will follow this evening.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

And so it begins (well, in 2 1/2 weeks)

My adventure doesn't actually begin for another 17 days. Until then, I'll be planning and stressing about grad school, boot camp, my world tour, and everything else. Wish me luck.

The current plan:

November 3 through December 15 - fitness boot camp in LA. I'll be working out 7 hours a day, having someone else make all my meals, clean up after me, give me massages, and otherwise control my life. Ideally, I'll lose 40-50 pounds and be the fittest I've ever been.

December 20 through January 14 - Ethiopia

January 14 through January 18 - Zanzibar

January 18 through February 1 - Safari in Kenya and Tanzania

February 2 through March 2 - Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam and Laos

March 3 through 17 - Pit Stop in the U.S. (LA, NYC and Cambridge)

March 19 through 23 - Tonga

March 23 through 28 - New Zealand

March 29 through April 30 - India

May 1 through June 26 - South Africa, Swaziland, Botswana, Namibia, Zambia and Botswana

June 27 through July 26 - Toulouse, Paris, Amsterdam, London and Scotland (all around)

That's the plan, anyway. I'll keep you posted.